More ramblings

I like the ocean, and I really like being within walking distance of the beach. I enjoy spending time alone on one of the multi-colored benches watching the waves roll in. I like sitting in silence and I like praying. I like seeing the waves come up and erase the mess that people left on the beach, footprints turned back into a clean slate for the next day. That would be the reason you might have found me alone after dark on one of those benches last week. Well, alone for a few minutes at least.

Earlier in the day I had run across one of the numerous beggars in Muizenberg and he asked me for some money for bread. I normally try to make up an excuse for not giving money or food to the beggars because there's a soup kitchen right in the middle of town. I told him that I wasn't going to the store (because I wasn't) and kept walking.

I saw him on the way to the beach that evening and he (Fabian was his name) followed me and sat down beside me on the bench.

We started talking about money and food (the most important things on his mind). Honestly, it was a frustrating conversation for me. I wanted to be alone and he wanted my money. We talked about how his Grandma lived alone and didn't have any income, how he couldn't go see her during the daytime or he'd get beaten up. We talked about his love for music and his desire to make it big as a musician. We talked about the Dutch guys who would come on vacation and pay him R5 (about 80 cents) to watch their car for the night so nobody messed with it. We talked about his love for marijuana and God. We talked about a lot of stuff, but it always came back to wanting money.

I shared with him my many reasons for not giving him money. There's a soup kitchen in town and that's their ministry. I'm jobless as well. If I give him money today and see him tomorrow then he'll just want more. If I give him money then everybody else in the area will want some also. If I buy him a loaf of bread then any money he has right now will just go for drugs.

We finally came to a point where I broke. I offered to buy him a loaf of bread, but he brought up the point that if I did that then anyone in or outside the store would know I did it and would want something from me also. I had R20 (about $3) and so I gave it to him. I told him to bring me the change right back. He offered to leave his bag as a promise that he would come back but I told him I trusted him. The store was within eye-sight if I turned around and moved 10 feet to the side. He could be there and back in 4 minutes if he walked slowly.

Fabian left and I finally had my peace and quiet.

20 minutes later, I still had my peace and quite....and no money. I headed home feeling a little bitter. Honestly, it wasn't about the money or the fact that I was robbed.

I started to wonder where the line was according to the Bible, or if there even is a line to draw? When is it okay to give someone money and when do you put your foot down and say no? Not to be cliche but what would Jesus do?

James 2:14-16 says "What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, 'Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,' but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?"

So, where's the line?

I saw Fabian again on Friday. He didn't try to hide or walk away. He crossed the street and we started talking. I reminded him that he'd stolen some money from me and he tried to tell me how he'd gotten lost. I interrupted him and told him that I forgave him. We were able to pray together, for his Grandmother, for a job for him, and for his friends and their situations.

I'll probably see him around, and he might ask me for money or food again. I don't know what my response will be.

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Once again, I'm in need of another $1,500 before March 10th. This will be my final payment and will go towards covering all my costs while I'm in India. I'll be buying my plane ticket later this week as well as applying for a travel visa on Monday. Any donations are very appreciated, I wouldn't be here without the help of you guys! I know that God is more faithful than I am, He got me here and provided the money for a ticket to India, He won't let me down halfway.